Bruce Carleton, mandarin, points the way.
This is a branch of figurative speaking which I have witnessed and duly recorded. The titular Eric Nelson (left), my buddy and former business partner, is the principal driving force behind it, but others have been known to make a stab now and again. All of these quotes are guaranteed to have been spoken in complete sincerity, and most were uttered in total lack of sobriety, usually around 4:30 a.m. in Huy's late lamented Sunrise Bar on Hai Ba Trung St. CLICK HERE to see the evidence.
a tempting lass

"...the propinquity of alluring temptation"
--a phrase beautifully turned by Chaplain William R. Arnold, Chief of Chaplains, U.S. Army, in testimony before the House Committee on Military Affairs, March, 1941. He was referring to camp followers and the like.

concupiscent King Farouk "...concupiscence beyond the imagination of King Farouk"
--another, from a Newsweek article on how tough it is to be a kid these days.
Animal Mother's helmet

"If I'm gonna die for a word, that word is poontang!"
--Animal Mother, Full Metal Jacket.

tom-tom display "...a terrible popular twist on darkest Africa's fertility tom-tom displays"
--Jack O'Brian of The New York Journal-American, referring to Elvis.
purple mountains' majesty "We stand at the window, we bat our eyelashes. We romance the world. We advertise our beauty and our glamour; we display our happy white teeth. And then we wonder why the world is lined up at out door."
--Richard Rodriguez, comparing America to Shakespeare's "Dark Lady," upon the passage of Proposition 187 (in the International Herald Tribune, Nov. 17, '94). I suppose, if he hadn't been afraid of being pilloried, he could have said, "If we don't want to get raped, we shouldn't dress like that."
Susan Brownmiller "I passed a row of cubicles where glassy-eyed, scantily clad young women were lolling."
"It's hard not to stare when you're having lunch in a brothel."
"The jaded legions of prostitutes with their bouffant hairdos..."
--Several observations from a Susan Brownmiller article in The Nation (July 18, 1994) about her adventures in the town of Cao Lanh.
[CLICK HERE for info about the photo.]
Her story is short by neccessity. "I like young girls. Their stories are shorter."
--Thomas McGuane
[CLICK HERE for info about the photo.]
G. Khan "Man's greatest good fortune is to chase and defeat his enemy, seize his total possessions, leave his married women weeping and wailing, ride his gelding, and use the bodies of his women as a nightshirt."
--Genghis Khan
Jungle Fever clock "Time is getting more and more for me to be considered merely as a convenient index of natural instincts, but in no way a governor of them."
--Robert James Addison Gerard Fletcher, Isles of Illusion.
[CLICK HERE for info about the photo.]
Huitzilopochtli's lunch "Our god [Huitzilopochtli] will feed himself with them as though he were eating warm tortillas, soft and tasty, straight out of the oven."
--Tlacáelel, brother of Moctezuma I, talking to him about the dedication of the Great Temple.
gift for a slave "Gifts make slaves."
--Claude Levi-Strauss.
Shanghai, MO 64138 "With God's help, we will lift Shanghai up, ever up, until it is just like Kansas City."
--Senator Kenneth Wherry of Nebraska, 1940.
Do they still let mountains smoke like that in public? "Touch the mountains and they shall smoke."
--Psalm 144.
God of Comedy "God is a comic playing to an audience that's afraid to laugh."
Bert Russel "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts."
--Bertrand Russell.

a toast to the propinquity of alluring temptation "Shit, my love!"
--Standard toast by Liam, a barmaid at one of the outdoor spots on Patpong II.
the Big Dog "'Be like the big dog,' Gorilla advised. 'If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.'"
--Earl Thompson, Tattoo.
the Big Dog vs. Joseph Conrad "The world is a bad dog. It will bite you if it gets the chance."
--Joseph Conrad, Victory.
Sam Doty, tribal leader "Don't start what you finish."
--Sam Doty, Pod Group Leader
Leah Stephens "Multitasking... that's just another way of saying 'scatterbrained'." and
"Keep your urges to a minimum."
--Leah Stephens, heard over the cubicle wall. [CLICK HERE to go to her Webpage.]
Tim Baine expounds "When someone drops a can of worms in your lap, go fishing."
--A genuine newly-coined cliche, uttered by Tim J. Baine on February 2, 2004
Rocky, Mickey & legs "Women weaken legs."
--Mickey to Rocky
Von Lmo "You cannot get out unless you're in."
--Von Lmo. (Read the interview this quote came from in Stop Magazine #1. Delve further via the Von Lmo Files.)
Ozzy Osbourne "People think I'm insane because I'm frowning all the time."
--Black Sabbath
Brian Eno "I can't see the lines I used to think I could read between."
--Eno (something else re Eno here.)

danger in the summer moon above "Have a good time but remember: There is danger in the summer moon above."
--S. Wayne & S. Edwards
Lou Reed, pencil neck "Let us do what you fear most; that from which you recoil but which makes your eyes moist."
--Lou Reed
Flashy "...and, as the Good Book says, there's a time for racketing about crying Ha-ha! among the trumpets, and a time for sitting back with your feet dipped in butter watching others fall in the mire."
--HarryFlashman, quoted in The Subtleties of Baccarat
Kinky Friedman "Like every other graffiti-strewn, ennui-driven subway train to nowhere, life would come to a screeching halt and all the passengers would have to get off. Anything left unsaid or undone would have to be forwarded to Fat Chance, Arkansas."
--Kinky Friedman, from Elvis, Jesus & Coca-Cola
Tecumseh "So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none. When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home."
a hero bites the dust "No charm would come of harping then, or Aphrodite's favors -- the clean-limbed body and the flowing hair, when you lay down to make love to the dust."
--Hector to Paris, Illiad
Johnny Cash and the whirlwind "It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks."
--Johnny Cash / Acts 9:5
Big Daddy Roth "No brains, no headaches."
--Ed "Big Daddy" Roth
General Sir Charles Napier "Peccavi."
--Charles Napier's apocryphal one-word message to the War Office in Great Britain that he had conquered the Sind in 1843. Peccavi, in Latin, means "I have sinned."
Lurch Bin Laden "In those days you could measure the enemy by the number of battalions and number of tanks and number of airplanes. Now the enemy hides in caves. They lurch in the shadows of the world."
--George W. Bush, Buffalo, New York, April 20th, 2004
the smelling beholder "It may stink in the eye of the smelling beholder."
--Jim Garvin, NASA lead scientist for Mars and lunar exploration, on Mars's sulfuric odor
Captain Beefheart "I've always believed that everyone is colored, or else you wouldn't be able to see them."
--Captain Beefheart
"c" in circle in glasses on face All material on this Website is copyright Bruce Carleton. You may not repost, reprint, or otherwise republish, retransmit or reproduce any material on any of the pages of this Website without express permission of Bruce Carleton. All rights reserved.